February 2012 Challenge: Pay It Forward

Funny how people flock by the masses to that which is insignificant. So easily we share gags, jokes, pranks, and meaningless photos. How often do we take the time to pass on that which has the power to help and heal. How often are we eager to share that which could make a difference? Please share the page. I urge you and encourage you to do so. AEF's February Challenge is to Pay It Forward. You never know who may be saved just by knowing, that they are not alone! Thank you!

Katandra Shanel Jackson Taylor

Founder/President, Angel Eyes Foundation

CEO, FreedomInk

January 2012 Challenge: Prepare the Battlefield

The low self-esteem seen in girls does not disappear with maturity; girls with low self-esteem often grow to be women with low self-esteem. Low levels of self-esteem are linked to increased rates of depression, substance abuse, suicide and eating disorders in both adolescents and adults (How Schools Shortchange Girls, 1992; Melpomene Institute, 1996).
       
Children who are confident of their own voices and assured of their right to say no are more readily able to fend off sexual abuse. As a parent, i'm aware that we yearn for compliant children. But a child that is afraid to question authority, could possibly be a child that becomes the target of a predator. When we encourage self-esteem in our children we boost the awareness of their own personal strength. What perpetrator would wisely target a child that is confident, sure, and unafraid to say 'no'? This very child is more likely to disclose any abuse. A healthy and positive self esteem may very well be your child's most important weapon against child sexual abuse.
 
A few signs of low self esteem:
Withdrawn, Fear of interaction
Not many, if any friends
Sad, depressed
Negative self-image
Loner syndrome, anti-social

What can we as Parents & Guardians do to Prepare the Battlefield?
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
Celebrate achievements
Teach realistic goal setting
Trust your own feelings
Be mindful of your own words. Don't put them down, build them up!
Acknowledge and reward effort
Be a positive role model, one your child admires and trusts
Redirect negative beliefs and give positive feedback, especially after an upset
Provide a safe, loving, and nurturing environment
Allow decision making opportunities
Encourage your child to speak his or her mind
 
*On a personal note. Self-esteem for girls is not just about how we look, it's about how we feel about how we look as well. Do not allow the mirror or peer pressure or the media to become your daughter's nemesis, instead become her bestfriend and tell her daily how beautiful she is and that beauty radiates from within*
 
K. Taylor, Author of Angel Eyes: A Collective Memoir of Child Sexual Abuse (publish date, April 2012)
© FreedomInk 2011

December Challenge: The Gift

 

by Angel Eyes Foundation on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 7:46pm

  

This holiday season, give the gift of Knowing! Become aware and get educated. But most importantly, share the fact that the knowledge is indeed yours!! Perpetrators are less likely to target those who 'know'.
      
A few fast facts:
1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will become the victim of child sexual abuse before their 18th birthday.
Everyone knows someone, or knows someone that knows someone... that is either the victim or the abuser
The most commonly held myth may be the misconception that only men commit child sexual abuse
Just as misconstrued as the previous notion is the though that most incidents occur in dark alleys by a stranger
The #1 reason children don't tell is FEAR!! That fear exists in many forms
When children talk, they feel most comfortable confiding in confidants. True friends never judge!
Children that don't receive proper help after child sexual abuse, become adults with social/mental/physical issues
*April 8, 2009, President Barack Obama declared April as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month*
     
Get informed. Share the page. Support/Sponsor the non-profit. Invite others to facebook 'like' and follow via twitter @aef_forgetmenot
     
Give the gift of donation/contribution. Angel Eyes Foundation is a non profit, 501 (c) 3 organization. AEF is a social advocacy foundation. It's not too late to give. Tax season 2011 begins January 1, 2012

November Challenge: Something To Be Thankful About

In the case of child sexual abuse, children are more likely to disclose the information to a person other than a parent! Why is this? Various reasons may provoke this course of action, but the one that may be most prominent is Fear of Rejection. Children are afraid they will be shunned, pushed away, not believed, ignored... they fear the rejection of a loved one. This makes the pain seem like an even heavier burden. But if your child has been allowed to establish an open line of communication with parents and caregivers, and healthy relationships have been encouraged with outside forces, much of the hurt that comes in the form of long term effects may be derailed. Or better yet, the abuse may be halted altogether. Those that sexually abuse children go through a phase with potential victims called the 'grooming' phase. They tend to target children who are more withdrawn. Replace that element with something to be thankful about. Enforce and Encourage a support system that entails not only adults, but peers your child(ren) trust. Know that these bonds are definitive to the social lives of our youth. If any hurt, harm or danger should come their way, this peer force will be the first to know. Learn who your child's bestfriend is, take an interest in their friendship, and water the seed of trust between the two. In it's growth, you can be reassured, that any pertinent information such as child sexual abuse will be disclosed. This disclosure with a trusted ally will hopefully strengthen voices and give victims the courage to speak out.

Katandra Shanel Jackson
Founder of Angel Eyes Foundation

October Challenge: Take 10/Stop. Look. and Listen

Question: When's the last time you put the old fireman's adage to use? Stop. Look. and Listen! This month's challenge is to put it to the ultimate test. 24 hours=1,440 minutes. Spend 10 UNINTERRUPTED minutes of your day Listening to your child. The challenge becomes tricky if you have a multi-kid household, but even then the math is simple. 10 x The # of children in your home. If you must divide the time with another adult or older sibling, then by all means... please do so. All too often we get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we forget to just stop, look, and listen to those dearest to us. If we as adults are swept away in the busyness, what of our children?? Take 10 minutes out of your hectic day. My guess is you'll be surprised at how much they have to say & how much you don't know. The sessions may go a little slowly at first. Don't be discouraged. Not only is this a 'talking' challenge, it's also an 'observation' challenge. As parents sharpen their listening skills, unspoken observations will become more clear. Children know when someone genuinely cares and eventually they will verbally open up.

*Because this challenge may be difficult to achieve on a daily basis, set 3 days aside each week. Mark it on your calender. Child(ren) and Parent/Caregiver alike will begin to look forward to that sacred time. So Take 10 to Stop. Look. and Listen.

AEF President & Founder-- Katandra Shanel Jackson Taylor

September 2011 Challenge

Attention: Mothers, Aunts, Sisters, Grandmothers, Female Family Members/Friends. Now is the time, a conversation is in order. The good thing about this is that there is no age requirement. Children are never too young to learn Correct Terminology. But first before you trade 'boobs' for breast and 'pee pee' for vagina/penis... ask them what do they already know. My guess is you'll be surprised. In the case of single fathers, seek the voice of a female family member or friend that your child(ren) is/are comfortable around.

The purpose in this month long challenge is to open up the more serious channel of conversation with our children. Often times 'cutesy' names for our private parts/genitalia induce snickers to downright uproarous laughter. By expanding their vocabulary with these very powerful words, we empower their voices. As the month unfolds and conversations take place, please feel free to comment via this note. Share your experience, your fear, your relief, your trepidation, your own experience with this topic as a child, any tips that may be beneficial in preparing for this 'talk'. Thank you.

--AEF President, Katandra Shanel Jackson {Taylor}

Fundraising Event Sept. 1- Sept. 30

Pkg of 3 custom buttons. The trio includes 2 original Angel Eyes Foundation designs and a Commemorative 'Remember 9/11' Button. Show your support. Only 10 sets will be sold. $25.00 (which includes shipping & handling). Accompanying the buttons will be a Letter of Thanks, a Formal Introduction to Angel Eyes Foundation and and an informational trifold; hot off the presses! These 10 supporters will earn a place on the Sponsor roster at the Silver level. The event is open Sept. 1- Sept. 7 and the buttons are available on a first come, first serve basis.