May 2012 Challenge: Education Evolves. Teen Talks

photo: zmescience.com

The number one constant in date rape... A-L-C-O-H-O-L! True! There is never an invitation nor an excuse to rape. Still don't heighten the chance. 

AEF offers education that evolves as our children grow. Teach teenagers about the dangers of under-age alcohol consumption. 

Alcohol consumption can cause confusion, impaired senses, unconsciousness and coma.

Set the Scene: An underage, drunk teenage girl at an unsupervised party. Not wishing to engage in sexual activity, is passed around a room full of boys with raging hormones. She never says no and can't quite distinguish just how many of her male peers are involved. A few weeks later she is ill. Sick at the sight of things and nauseaus at their smell. Her mother suspects the worse and it is. At 14, her daughter is pregnant. Who's to blame? A teenage girl for attending the party? The teenage boy for taking advangtage of the situation? Or the parents for not warning all minors of the dangers of alcohol consumption? 

As always, each challenge, is one I not only vow to take, but solemly do so each and every month. My daughters have yet to reach teenage-dom. But my son is of the perfect age for this talk! Work and driving will soon be two priveldges he is to partake in. With these new milestones come different freedoms.... Time this education evolves. Time for another teen talk!! 

Remember---

1 in 4 girls/1 in 6 boys will be the victim of sexual assault before their 18th birthday. 

Child sexual abuse is a senseless crime. One that is avoidable. Yes it is real, but it is not incurable. The solution resides with each of us. Spread the word. Take the challenge. Become aware. Let others know of your knowledge. Happy May

April Challenge: Simpy Repost, Retweet, Repeat

"Never judge what you don't understand." ~Zane

Hard to explain to someone who has no clue. It's a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (PTSD, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Diabetes, CROHNS, LUPUS, Fibromyalgia, MS, ME, NF, Arthritis, Cancer, Heart Disease, Epilepsy, Autism,M.D., Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, Sickle Cell Disease, etc...)

Adding to this list of invisible diseases, child sexual abuse. 

Usually unsuspected, the perpetrator goes unpunished and the victim is left with a lifetime of pain. Invisible scars, not the physical ones that fade, but the mental and emotional ones. Statistics state that 1 in 4 females will be sexually abused before her 18th birthday. I keep counting the 'her's and 'she's that reside within my circle. 100's of us. I know i'm not the only one, Angel Eyes: A Collective Memoir of Child Sexual Abuse is testimony to that. But how much longer must my 'sister's remain hidden, Invisible. My heart breaks not for the pain we've endured, but because some are still too afraid, too ashamed to speak out! How can the cycle stop.................................?

#RepostRetweetRepeatAEF

s/n It's never too late to become a Sponsor/Supporter of The Angel Eyes Foundation

March 2012 Challenge : Embrace These Truths

Harsh as they may be, reports and statistics are an everyday part of life. Instead of shunning them and remaining in the dark, confront them, become aware, and become part of the ongoing battle to find a solution. Child Sexual Abuse is Real but it is not incurable.

Random Facts:

New reports state that 1 in 3 girls, not 1 in 4, are the victims of child sexual abuse.

In as many as 93 percent of child sexual cases, the child knows the person that commits the abuse.

In relation to knowing the perpetrator, if familial ties exist, the abuse is known as incest.

Many sexually abused children exhibit physical, behavioral and emotional symptoms.

Children who are abused or neglected are more likely to become criminal offenders as adults.

Disclosure and response are key elements in a child's well being and treatment after the abuse.

Talking with your children, making them aware of appropriate sexual behavior is key in prevention.

Repressed memory is a coping mechanism in adults used to deal, or not deal with the nightmares of being sexually abused as a child.

Perpetrators report that they look for passive, quiet, troubled, lonely children from single parent or broken homes.

Grooming is when a perpetrator establishes a trusting relationship with the victim and/or the victim’s family in order to gain access to the child.

*The list is longer than both my arms outstretched. The point is this, when we turn blind eye and deaf ear to the facts, we dismiss the truths. When we dismiss the truths, we become desensitized to the rest of the world who have acknowledged these statistics. And then one day, you wake up, see and understand the facts, but by then, it's usually too late. Become aware today and let those around you know that this is important to you. Share this knowledge with them. 

Blessings. 

~K. Taylor 

February 2012 Challenge: Pay It Forward

Funny how people flock by the masses to that which is insignificant. So easily we share gags, jokes, pranks, and meaningless photos. How often do we take the time to pass on that which has the power to help and heal. How often are we eager to share that which could make a difference? Please share the page. I urge you and encourage you to do so. AEF's February Challenge is to Pay It Forward. You never know who may be saved just by knowing, that they are not alone! Thank you!

Katandra Shanel Jackson Taylor

Founder/President, Angel Eyes Foundation

CEO, FreedomInk

January 2012 Challenge: Prepare the Battlefield

The low self-esteem seen in girls does not disappear with maturity; girls with low self-esteem often grow to be women with low self-esteem. Low levels of self-esteem are linked to increased rates of depression, substance abuse, suicide and eating disorders in both adolescents and adults (How Schools Shortchange Girls, 1992; Melpomene Institute, 1996).
       
Children who are confident of their own voices and assured of their right to say no are more readily able to fend off sexual abuse. As a parent, i'm aware that we yearn for compliant children. But a child that is afraid to question authority, could possibly be a child that becomes the target of a predator. When we encourage self-esteem in our children we boost the awareness of their own personal strength. What perpetrator would wisely target a child that is confident, sure, and unafraid to say 'no'? This very child is more likely to disclose any abuse. A healthy and positive self esteem may very well be your child's most important weapon against child sexual abuse.
 
A few signs of low self esteem:
Withdrawn, Fear of interaction
Not many, if any friends
Sad, depressed
Negative self-image
Loner syndrome, anti-social

What can we as Parents & Guardians do to Prepare the Battlefield?
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
Celebrate achievements
Teach realistic goal setting
Trust your own feelings
Be mindful of your own words. Don't put them down, build them up!
Acknowledge and reward effort
Be a positive role model, one your child admires and trusts
Redirect negative beliefs and give positive feedback, especially after an upset
Provide a safe, loving, and nurturing environment
Allow decision making opportunities
Encourage your child to speak his or her mind
 
*On a personal note. Self-esteem for girls is not just about how we look, it's about how we feel about how we look as well. Do not allow the mirror or peer pressure or the media to become your daughter's nemesis, instead become her bestfriend and tell her daily how beautiful she is and that beauty radiates from within*
 
K. Taylor, Author of Angel Eyes: A Collective Memoir of Child Sexual Abuse (publish date, April 2012)
© FreedomInk 2011

December Challenge: The Gift

 

by Angel Eyes Foundation on Thursday, December 8, 2011 at 7:46pm

  

This holiday season, give the gift of Knowing! Become aware and get educated. But most importantly, share the fact that the knowledge is indeed yours!! Perpetrators are less likely to target those who 'know'.
      
A few fast facts:
1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will become the victim of child sexual abuse before their 18th birthday.
Everyone knows someone, or knows someone that knows someone... that is either the victim or the abuser
The most commonly held myth may be the misconception that only men commit child sexual abuse
Just as misconstrued as the previous notion is the though that most incidents occur in dark alleys by a stranger
The #1 reason children don't tell is FEAR!! That fear exists in many forms
When children talk, they feel most comfortable confiding in confidants. True friends never judge!
Children that don't receive proper help after child sexual abuse, become adults with social/mental/physical issues
*April 8, 2009, President Barack Obama declared April as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month*
     
Get informed. Share the page. Support/Sponsor the non-profit. Invite others to facebook 'like' and follow via twitter @aef_forgetmenot
     
Give the gift of donation/contribution. Angel Eyes Foundation is a non profit, 501 (c) 3 organization. AEF is a social advocacy foundation. It's not too late to give. Tax season 2011 begins January 1, 2012

November Challenge: Something To Be Thankful About

In the case of child sexual abuse, children are more likely to disclose the information to a person other than a parent! Why is this? Various reasons may provoke this course of action, but the one that may be most prominent is Fear of Rejection. Children are afraid they will be shunned, pushed away, not believed, ignored... they fear the rejection of a loved one. This makes the pain seem like an even heavier burden. But if your child has been allowed to establish an open line of communication with parents and caregivers, and healthy relationships have been encouraged with outside forces, much of the hurt that comes in the form of long term effects may be derailed. Or better yet, the abuse may be halted altogether. Those that sexually abuse children go through a phase with potential victims called the 'grooming' phase. They tend to target children who are more withdrawn. Replace that element with something to be thankful about. Enforce and Encourage a support system that entails not only adults, but peers your child(ren) trust. Know that these bonds are definitive to the social lives of our youth. If any hurt, harm or danger should come their way, this peer force will be the first to know. Learn who your child's bestfriend is, take an interest in their friendship, and water the seed of trust between the two. In it's growth, you can be reassured, that any pertinent information such as child sexual abuse will be disclosed. This disclosure with a trusted ally will hopefully strengthen voices and give victims the courage to speak out.

Katandra Shanel Jackson
Founder of Angel Eyes Foundation